MENTAL HEALTH | Getting to grips with my WHY
My Mental Health Story – My ‘WHY’
It’s fair to say that the last few months have been the worst in my life. Not an ideal introduction for one of my first posts as the official ‘Girl about East London’, but I thought it was important to share with you so you understand a bit more about my ‘why’.
I have got a few blog posts about this in move detail over on my blog, which I’ve written for the last five years if you have a spare 30 mins and the inclination to take a look > https://somesexandthecity.wordpress.com/
But if you’re happy here, then I’ll give you a quick update. I had a breakdown about four months ago. I’d ignored the warning signs for 18 months, ploughed on, pushed myself, told myself I was okay, when in-fact I was far from it. A panic attack at work out of the blue one Monday morning in May and everything came crashing down around me.
It was bleak. I couldn’t stop crying, I couldn’t move out of my bed, I felt like I was being consumed by a darkness that I couldn’t fight anymore. I couldn’t explain to anyone what was happening because I didn’t understand it myself. This wasn’t who I was. I was the strong one. People came to me for help.
The ironic thing is, I’ve always been an advocate for good mental health.
I had seen a counsellor on and off for a few years after my divorce and was aware of things I needed to work on and areas I needed to address. But turns out I didn’t address them as well as I first thought I had.
And yet here we were. Suddenly being signed off work (despite thinking i’d be okay once i’d had a good sleep) and having conversations with doctors about antidepressants; a path I was initially very reluctant to go down.
Unresponsive to family and friends, the days passed slowly. I was referred to a psychologist and started to take the drugs.
Amongst other things, we started to talk about my values. What they were and why they were important.
I looked at all areas of my life; work, relationships (or lack thereof), health and fitness, personal life and family/friends.
It kind of blew my mind that I’d never really looked at my values in this way before and addressed exactly what I was getting from different elements of my life. Have you?
Thought about what you value in each area of your life and deliberated whether or not you’re actually meeting those values? I implore you to. It’s really helped me process what’s happening and also what I want to put my energy into because it aligns with my values.
This is why I’m here really as a sparkly new member of the Girl About squad. I listed some of my values of my personal life to be creative, exciting and fun. So I started to think about what I could do to align with those values. I’ve written for quite a while and came across ‘Girl About’ on Instagram. Their values aligned with mine and I thought it would be great to be part of a wider blogging community and give a true purpose to putting pen to paper.
So I’ll start to share a snippet of my life here in East London and all of the fabulous places I’m discovering around here. But I’ll also continue to share my story too. Being authentic is all I know. And if just one person can read this and realise that they’re not alone in what might feel like a never ending dark tunnel, then I’m onto something.
Until next time…
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I’m a primary school teacher and I’m a mum to a beautiful, bright and bubbly six-year-old. I witness the ups and downs of wellbeing in children every day. Every parent faces the same dilemma – how to ensure the wellbeing of our children – particularly from a mental health perspective in a world that is more pressured than ever in more ways than one.
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