Dear Evelyn | A letter to my daughter
I sometimes struggle to say everything that I want to you. You are the most precious thing in my life and every year I want to write a letter to you- one that you can keep and treasure forever- even long after I’ve gone.
Ever since I was a little girl, all I have ever wanted to be was a mummy. Growing up I’d plan my baby names in the back of my RE book and your name was always written at the top of my list. It’s lucky your Dad agreed to it. My Evelyn Jayne. Named after a brave, little Irish Girl who had the most amazing story and the strongest and most loving person I know- my mum- your ninny. I had you planned all along and I hoped with all of my heart that one day you would be here. That one day you would make me a mummy.
Just over a year ago you came into my life and little did I know that you would change my world forever. You gave me a purpose and a strength that I never knew I had. You are everything I have ever wanted but you are so much more than I could ever have dreamed. I never knew what it would be like to feel complete. Yet, I understood the moment you were placed into my arms. I guess it’s also true that I never knew how much my mum and dad loved me until I was able to feel how much I loved you. And I know it will be the same for you too. Words will never be enough. They fail every time.
The truth is. Nothing could prepare me for feeling grateful when you wake me early each morning. No one could tell me how warm my heart would be when I saw your face for the first time. I couldn’t even begin to imagine how proud I would be to hear your first words and how my eyes would glaze over when I first heard you giggle. You have had so many firsts and there are so many more to come: your first steps; your first day at school; your first love. And I hope I’m lucky enough to always be right next to you through these. Holding your hand.
It already feels like the months and years are passing too quickly. Time seems to have sped up beyond unimaginable measures and I so badly want to grab it and make it slow down. You’re so feisty and independent- no longer a little baby that I nurse to sleep, stroking your perfect face. We are so excited to watch you grow and hear all of the wonderful things you have to say. Please don’t ever let anybody make you feel that you’re opinion doesn’t matter.
Evelyn, there will be times in your life that you feel are too tough. And there are some lessons that I cannot prepare you for. Know that these times, no matter how hard, will always pass and you only have to look around you to see how many wonderful people there are surrounding you, supporting you, cheering for you. I will always be here for you. To hold your hand, to give you a cuddle, to colour with you, to sing you to sleep, to dance with you, to plait your hair, to kiss it better when it hurts, to talk to and to love you with all my heart. Appreciate all that you have and all that you are. You are kind. You are smart. You are important.
I can’t wait to watch you grow. See you smile, talk, love, laugh and figure out who you are going to be in the world. I can’t wait for you to travel and explore. And I hope that when you’ve grown up you’re able to look back and remember how loved you were every second of the day. I pray that you find your soul mate just like I found mine in your Dad. And I pray with all of my heart that wherever you are, whatever you are doing and whoever you are with, that you’re happy. Because you have given me a happiness stronger than I can ever put into words.
Thank you for making me your mum. Thank you for letting me give you life and letting me give my life to love you. Please always be precious with your heart. Make sure you see the good in every person that you meet and every day that you see. And remember that wherever you go in this life, my heart will always be your home.
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